And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
