I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
