i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize