Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
