Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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