He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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