It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
