I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
