One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
