We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
pray to the hookup gods
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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