so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
