If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize