he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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