check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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