Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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