96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize