god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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