when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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