HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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