I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
