shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize