new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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