If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
