yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
