i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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