I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
