OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
