Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
