Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
