Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
