Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
