Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
