So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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