i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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