I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize