had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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