I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
