All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
