I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
