This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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