whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
