i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
