I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
