What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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