im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
