I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
