In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
