Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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