Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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