He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize