Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
