We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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