it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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