Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
