He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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