Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
