I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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