so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
