he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize