I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
