He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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