are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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