Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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