If that was your dad, he is hot
Who wears a wallet chain?!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
im calling her cock vulture from now on
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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