32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
