i permit you to call me
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
