Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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