This is not my ceiling
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
